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Welcome, friend. I know this life can be heavy and hard. My desire is that my words would bring you hope, healing, truth, and rest; that my words would be a reminder to you that you are not alone, that God is good, and that there is hope.

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It’s his birthday. And I love him. In his birthday card (to celebrate his 29th year) I wrote 29 things I love about him. I won’t share them all here, but sum it to say: he makes me laugh, I have so much fun adventuring with him (whether it’s climbing mountains or moving cross-country), he is the most loyal person I know, he’s intelligent and hardworking and caring, aaaand I just love him.

"The good and the bad mingle together, as they always do, and I begin to see, with surprise, that there is somehow space in my heart for both. I begin to see that, in his grace, God is using this – the intermingled hope and grief – to strengthen my trust in who he is.

What is home? Someone asked me this recently and I had to pause before answering. This is the 4th home Matthew and I have lived in since we got married. The 12th home I’ve lived in since college. The 22nd (I think?) address I’ve had in my life. Moving a lot has had its challenges, but it’s taught me a few things:

Reminiscing on being in the Colorado mountains last month, and dwelling on these words from Charles Spurgeon:

A few favorites from January:

I'm sitting at my kitchen table, surrounded by cardboard boxes and packing tape. On Saturday morning, Matthew and I will load up in our cars and our U-haul and start the 25+ hour cross-country drive from Colorado to Fairfax, Virginia (outside of D.C.).

I've been holding a lot of hopes this year. A lot of expectations of what I had hoped 2020 would hold (a church, a baby, a home). At the same time I've been seeking to learn how to hope in a way that is true and brave and not fearful. Trying to not allow disappointment to make me hesitant to hope.

As I reflect on my favorite moments of December, I realize almost all of them centered around family and home.

Sweet moments from the month of November:

In other news, Hilliary is here and we frolicked in the mountains and all is right in the world.

Marriage is a continual forgiving and learning and apologizing and sacrificing. Even today, misunderstanding crept in and conflict arose and bitterness knocked on the door and we had to choose to stop and check in and apologize and forgive.

The end of the crochet needle scratches the palm of my right hand, the soft threads twist around my fingers, my mind drifts as my hands settle into the motion.

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“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to His great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith – more previous than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire – may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

1 Peter 1:3-4

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