How do you articulate to fellow believers, to people who look to you as a "strong Christian woman," that only weeks ago you sat on your bathroom floor, barely able to breathe except to utter the words to God or whoever might be listening, "why don't you love me?"
What do you do when you so heavily feel the weight of the brokenness of the world bearing down on you? When you are so overwhelmed with the pain caused by sin that you feel suffocated? When your heart aches with the hurt and grief of the people around you? How do you let it more deeply root yourself in the goodness and love and sovereignty of the Lord?
As humans we naturally think that we are so self sufficient and that our faith is something we can manufacture on our own. But it’s not! And praise the Lord for that because there’s no way we can sustain our faith on our own. I try so hard to figure out the secret to resting and trusting the Lord and it’s so simple...
So now, instead of just feeling excitement when I drive through those amazing fall-colored tree tunnels on the winding back roads or cuddle up in a super soft blanket, I see an opportunity to practice eucharisteo. It's opened my mind and my heart to a whole new depth of joy.
I've read this verse so many times, but today I’m comforted by the fact that even when I have no idea where my life is headed, He knows. God never promises that we will understand His will for our lives. That we will understand why He has us where He does right now. He does however promise to guard our anxious hearts and minds with a peace that transcends all understanding (Phil. 4:7). A peace that is somehow more comforting than actually knowing.