Trusting. Waiting.

Sometimes it can be so hard. I know that God is faithful. I know that He is in control. And I know that His plan is good. Oh, it is so good!

But at the same time my flesh is so impatient.  Satan tempts me with lies that I so easily believe. He tells me that I need a plan, not just for today or tomorrow or the summer, but for the next 5 years, the next 10 years.

And so I start planning. I make lists and write in my planner and dream up dreams and hopes and thoughts and plans and……and I forget.

I forget that my God is sovereign. That He is in control. Sometimes I get lost in my planning and I stress because I begin to lose sight of this truth. But then I remember to seek Him and my heart finds rest in His character: sovereign, faithful, good.

Sometimes I feel like God’s just asking me, “okay, how much to you really trust me?”

Am I willing to really abandon myself? My plans, my desires, my beliefs about what my life should look like? How much do I really trust Him?

I know that my life is completely abandoned to Him. I know that I will follow Him wherever He leads me and I am committed to fulfilling His purpose. But it is difficult.

Because trusting is a day by day thing…even a moment by moment thing. Waiting is hard when we want so badly to tangibly see His faithfulness fulfilled. We have to continually place our trust and our hope in Him.

And when I finally trust in Him and wait for Him… I am at peace. Completely. I am fulfilled and joyful and just so satisfied… because He is enough. He is sufficient.

So often I spend so much of my time looking ahead, asking the Lord where He is leading me, demanding that He guide me along the path that He has for me. All the while I find myself losing sight of…Him.

Oh may this never again happen! I want to seek Him first! As I seek Him I will find myself walking in His will because I will know Him intimately. He will be guiding me. But may I never miss out on Him…on knowing and seeking and loving Him. May I never miss out on the richness of His presence because I am too busy seeking His will or His plan or His path for me.

The Lord is my joy.  God is my peace.  He is my will, my plan, my purpose!

I exalt You, Oh Lord!  I live to bring praise to Your name!  May I do this faithfully and joyfully.  May I serve you well and glorify You unceasingly.