But God loves you…just because he loves you. Not because of you, not because of your righteousness, your personality, your upstanding morals, or your character. He loves you despite your sin and even in the midst of your unfaithfulness. We are so undeserving. It is such a beautiful love! And such a wonderful Lover.
To be honest, this has been one of the hardest semesters of my life. I've been overwhelmed at times with loneliness, confusion, fear, insecurity, and inadequacy. I've had quite a few moments where I've doubted everything. So many negative thoughts have plagued my mind: “What in the world are you doing?” “You aren't smart enough for seminary.” “How do you expect this all to work out?”
Oh that we would be reminded daily of the character of our God - lest our sin leads us to selfishly think that anything He does is for our satisfaction or our glory. He is thirsty for His glory alone. And He is infinitely worthy.
So now, instead of just feeling excitement when I drive through those amazing fall-colored tree tunnels on the winding back roads or cuddle up in a super soft blanket, I see an opportunity to practice eucharisteo. It's opened my mind and my heart to a whole new depth of joy.
If there’s one thing the Lord has been teaching me about lately, it is His faithfulness. How it is so evident in every single moment of my life, big and small; it is so cool for me to look back and see the way that He has flawlessly orchestrated every single detail of my life for His glory. Even when I can’t see Him moving at all, He is always working things together for His glory. In everything. He is faithful.
I came to Africa thinking that I was going to be teaching, serving, and loving the children and the people here. And yes, I have been doing these things. We’ve been able to teach the wonderful children at Rays of Hope, the school in the slums of Kabalagala. We’ve been able to serve by helping with cooking, cleaning, and doing chores at the houses. And I have fallen in love with every single one of the children at the houses and schools we have gone to. But in reality, I have been taught, served, and loved so much more by every single person I have come in contact with.
I woke up my first morning in Africa to roosters crowing, Lugandan shouts, and children’s laughter outside. It was beautiful. Walking outside I was greeted with wonderful hello hugs and beautiful good mornings from precious children. I’ve never received so much love and I didn’t even know them yet! We spent all day getting to know them and playing with them. It was great. Later that night we were upstairs and heard the children’s beautiful voices singing praises to Jesus. We walked downstairs and see them all on their knees praying out loud and crying out to God. It was the most beautiful, genuine worship I’ve ever seen.